Bigfoot Screams

A couple of people are walking in the woods one day. One is an experienced researcher and the other is not. A scream is heard in the area. "Grrraaahhheeeiiii!" "Zak, did you hear that? What in the world WAS that?" Zak turns to him with a knowing smile and says, "that my good buddy, was a Bigfoot scream! I've heard recordings of them before on the internet." "Great Zak, but I'm outta here! See you back at the car."

Like Zak, I've heard a good many recordings on the internet too. I think they are real because I hear some Forest Rangers on the Bigfoot shows on T.V. say they don't have a clue to what is making the scream.

Researchers go out in the woods armed with all kinds of recorders. Some of this equipment is probibly way out of my price range. However, they all do what they're supposed to do. Just some better than others. They record or try to record Bigfoot screams. My problem is, I don't see what they are screaming about. I mean, are they screaming out "Zak, take your good buddy and get off my land!" Or are they communicating with another of their kind, "Lounga, be careful, they's a couple more of 'em here today!" It would be nice if we knew whether it was directed at us or their friends and family.

The other day while out driving, I heard another driver scream at me, "Hey you idiot, what the ****'s the matter with you, you ********!" All I did was turn right with my turn signal saying left. I see other people doing that all the time. I figured I could do it once in a while. However, the other driver didn't bother me a bit. You see, heh, heh, people have been yelling at me all my life. My mother, many bosses, friends and so forth and using about the same phrase as just stated above. In each case, I knew there would be no hurt heading towards my body. Well, my mother would have been the exception.

Now on the other hand, as a kid going to Saturday's theater matinee featuring Tarzan, before he went off to rescue either Boy or Jane from an evil gang of animal poachers, he would let out this blood curdling scream. I took the scream as, "I mean business and I'm definetely gonna put some hurt on somebody's body!" You'd see the lions, tigers and gorillas running for their lives, even though all three were not from the same place. So I guess his scream was pretty loud and terrifying. Anyway, those movies taught me at a young age that whenever you hear a loud and terrifying scream in the woods and you might think it's Bigfoot, then I would assume that it's not directed at his friends or family and my advice is to do as Zaks good buddy said, "I'm outta here and I'll see you back at the car!"

I usually don't sign these blogs because I can always accuse my co-host of writing them.
Okay gang, see you all next weekend.
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Sorry, but no blog this week

Due to a major overhauling on my computer, there will not be a blog this weekend. I've got all my tools, (hammer, saws, a small sledgehammer, chizels, S.O.S, Braxo, disinfectant, sponges, mask and a few odds & ends, I've decided to get to what I've been putting off for quite some time. Now I know a lot of you will be disappointed, including me, but for a differant reason, meaning it's a dirty job but somebody's got to do it. Thanks for dropping by and we'll see you next weekend.
Bob C.

Many, many winters ago

"Hey Grandma, I figured I'd come over to see if you needed anything." "Why Lounga, how nice of you to come by and see me, but I really don't need a thing right now. You're such a good boy for thinking of me though." "Grandma, I'm all grown up now, I have seventeen winters!" "Yes honey, but at my age, you'll always be my little boy. Now sit down on one of these stumps and I'll fix you some water and some nice juicy grubs. I know they're your favorites and they're freshly dug."

"Grandma, I need to ask you something. A couple of weeks ago, I saw two of those creatures that Grandpa told me to stay away from. And I...say, these grubs ARE good, anyway, one of them pointed and put a small box up to it's face when it was looking at me. Did anything like that happen to you?"

"Well, let me think back a bit. Hmm, yes, I do recall something like that many, many winters ago. I was young then and I was on my way to meet your Grandpa. Course, he wasn't your Grandpa at the time, but I was sort of sweet on him at the time. We had plans to go to the monthly gathering of our kind and I was late and I didn't want him to worry, so I moved along best I could.

I knew a shortcut across an old creek bed. As I approached it, I also saw two of these creatures and they were on top of those animals that they ride with another animal trailing along behind. Silly isn't it? Creatures riding animals, hah! I don't think it's right that one kind of an animal should ride another kind of animal and that..."Grandma, you were talking about meeting the creatures?" "Huh? Oh yes, anyway, they saw me and then all heck broke out. I've seen these creature before and so as I walked, I watched them out of the corner of my eye. One hollered to the other and pointed and then his animal jumped up and then flopped over on him on the ground. The other tried to hold on to his animal and had to get off. The third animal that was trailing behind, well he just hightailed it out of there.

The one on the ground got out from under his animal and was trying to grab something from this thing that was tied around the middle of his animal. It turned out to be one of those small boxes that you said your creature had. he put this box up to his face and started to run in my direction. The other creature, now off of his animal, was coming toward me also and had a bang stick with him that he pointed at me, but then put it towards the ground. About now, I had had enough of their antics and I gave them one of my looks. You know, the one that says, I'm in a hurry and don't make me stop because if I do, someone was going to be very sorry! I walked on up a hill and further on sat down on a stump to see if they were following me. When I didn't see them, I then went to see Grandpa.

The next day, I brought Grandpa back to where this all happened and, sakes alive, there were the creatures again. We hid in some bushes and watch them awhile. They were pouring stuff into my footprints and after sitting on some stumps for a time, they'd take the stuff out of the footprints and take them away. Now, whatever for, I have no idea. I tell you Lounga, they are the strangest creatures that I ever did see and Grandpa is right, stay away from them." "Okay Grandma, thanks for telling me that story. I thought maybe that it was just me they do that to. I have to go now, but you know what? You still remember that time, but I'll bet that incident has been forgotten many, many winters ago by them creatures and their kind!"

"Okay Lounga dear, make sure you come back real soon and tell your sister that Grandma Pahty sends her love!

Okay folks, see you next weekend. Happy Bigfooting!

Bigfoot: What a great hobby!

What a great hobby Bigfoot is! I used to have other hobbies. I enjoyed fooling around with my piano, making jigsaw puzzles, making furniture in my workshop, blankly staring off into space. but that was before discovering the hobby of Bigfoot. However, I've found that it takes up more than just my spare time. There are so many variables in the Bigfoot hobby (listening to internet radio shows, searching out websites, reading sighting reports, etc.) that it requires sacrificing other more important things that spouses want done like taking out the trash, fixing a broken window, painting the garage and all that other stuff that I anxiously look forward to.

Studies have shown that a person lives longer and has a happier frame of mind in general when they have a hobby. So it very important to indulge in it as much as they can get away with. The secret is, to show to those who are not into Bigfoot that it's not only a hobby, but what you are doing is gathering valuable information that you can use at some unknown future time and for some yet unknown future reason. Here's a couple of examples for those who are just starting out in it.

Spouse: "Honey, you'r not going to spend all weekend on that computer are you? You promised to go shopping with me!"
Me: "No, no dear. But I have to listen to the Bigfoot Quest radio show on archives. The guest was supposed to reveal the truth about the existance of Bigfoot on this past week's show and I missed it. It's only ninety minutes. But then I have to listen to a couple of other shows so I can report back to my Bigfoot club group. You know, the one that meets a couple of times a week! I didn't want to accept this assignment, but the members made me. They said something about it was important to their longer life and a happier frame of mind."

Spouse: "Bob, don't tell me that you're intending to go camping again this weekend. This is the third time this month and you know you've got to fix that leak in the bathroom!"
Me: " Camping? Helen, this is not camping. I can see where you might call this camping. Anyone who doesn't have a Bigfoot hobby would call this camping. But in actuality, it's err, research. Yeah, research is what it is. Those of us who aspire to discover a real live Bigfoot creature and dare I say it, maybe capture one of them alive for science, call these trips expeditions. It's very important that I go on these camping, I mean expeditions. For research you see. By the way, when you go out, could you pick up some steaks. I'd do it myself, but I have to fill the beer cooler and dig out the fishing poles from the garage. I told the gang down at the Bigfoot club that I'd bring this stuff for when there's a lull in our, ah, expeditioning."

Yeah, a Bigfoot hobby is great. But be forewarned if your just starting out in this endeavor. A bigfoot hobby is not for everyone. Although there are many thousands of Bigfooters as we call ourselves, some of your personal friends might look at you a little funny, like when they learn of your new hobby. here's a little exchange between myself and a long time friend who I just happened to bump into the other day at Walmarts.

Me: "Hey Jack, long time no see! What's it been, two years?"
Jack: "Been about that I guess. Your looking great! what've you been up to?"
Me: "Well, I've been involved in my new hobby. It's been great for my happier frame of mind."
Jack: "New hobby? What's it about?"
Me: "Bigfoot! It's real you know! And, it takes up all my spare time. I've also been doing a radio show on it for the last two years with a guy from New York called Mike Killen. Want to hear about it?"
Jack: "Huh? Bigfoot? Bigfoot? I just remembered that I have a dentist appointment. I gotta go. I'll give you a call one of these days."

Okay, I gotta go too, see you all next weekend. Meanwhile, any comments? click comments. If you want to subscribe to these blogs where I will personally hand deliver them to your email inbox, go over to the right and click on where it says, 'subscribe to blogs by email'.

Our e-mail is Bigfootquest@gmail.com

Brr, it's cold outside!

Well, the holidays are over and we hope that each and all had a great Christmas and a safe New Years Eve and day. And for those of a differant faith, a great holiday also. I was a little disappointed this Christmas though. I usually get a box of coal and I thought this year would be differant, but, at least the box was smaller. I really have to remember to be good in the future.

The other night, I went outside on the back porch to get a breath of fresh air and a cigarette (cough, cough). I always cough when I do that, it must be the fresh air. Anyway, it was about 15 degrees out and the wind was howling making it less than zero with the wind chill. I stood there thinking about what a terrible night it is. I also thought of Bigfoot.

How in the world does Bigfoot survive in weather like this? Someone would naturally answer the question as, just like any other animal in the woods! Yes and no, because there are other factors involved here. Animals are supposed to keep warm because of their fur. Always have and always will. But Bigfoot has hair and is at a huge disadvantage, right?

Being a virgo and always having to have my facts right, prior to writing this I went on the internet to research hair versus fur. There was all kinds of fun facts there. First of all, hair and fur are the same. The difference I guess, if any, would be that when it's thick, it's called fur and when it's thin it's hair. The thick stuff has a double composition made up of primary and secondary layers. The thin stuff is like the hay we all have (or don't) on the top of our heads. My own head is leaning towards 'don't'. In the case of animals having the two layers, the undercoat is mainly for warmth according to season. We (primates) don't have the secondary or rather the undercoat to add to our warmth, therefore, it would get a little chilly without the added benefit of clothing or animal skins on our backs.

Now, I can see how a deer keeps warm. According to the book, The Deer of North America, deer have approx. 5,000 hairs to the square inch. I thought at one time that this figure was in error as it seemed to be a lot of hair in so small a place. I actually had it in my head that I was going to personally count them myself one day, however, I then decided that a nap would be more appropriate.

A human with a good mop of hair believe it or not, is about 700 hairs to the square inch. Who knows about Bigfoot! However, when I take a pencil, many sheets of paper, an eraser and calculator, I figure if Bigfoot is anything like us, he's about 4300 hairs short of a deer. I suppose with enough food, it's great size and bulk, Bigfoot would be able to generate the heat needed to survive in really cold temperatures. I have a friend in the State of Maine who spent his entire life in the woods as a woodcutter. He's a really big guy and tough as they come when it matters. In all the 20+ years that I've known him, he's never worn a coat. So, maybe Bigfoot doesn't need one also.

That's it folks, out of time and space. See you all next weekend. I need to go out to the back porch and have a, err, breath of fresh air.

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